Cosmo's Worst Advice Ever

I didn't say it! They did!

Okay, the first thing you're probably wondering... Why does Lesley get Cosmo? The truth is I was trying to be young and hip... Pathetic right? But Dang it I'm not even 30! And no comments from the peanut gallery about how I will be in a few months! And then I started reading the articles and most of them are just so darn silly that they crack me up. So now I read it for the entertainment value. Really though...I think I'm more a Family Circle kinda girl these days. hehe I guess when you've been married a decade, and have two kids it kinda strips the Cosmo girl right outta ya.

From this month's Cosmopolitan...

The Worst Advice
We've Ever Printed

Okay, we're not perfect- so please forgive us. And remember, times were different then. Waaay different.

"A woman dominated only by default. She makes decisions-little decisions, big decisions, medium size decisions-only hen her escort, her fiance, or her husband leaves them up to her." - "The Fight for Love," July 1960

My husband's exact response to this one was that he looked up at me with hope in his eyes and his adorable grin on his face, and said, "We get to make decisions???" Poor guy, I had to shoot him right down. He was hopeful there for a second. :-D

"Diet all week, or don't eat before you go to a party; fast all day except for raw hamburger for strength. You'll feel thin and attractive." "how to turn a man on." April 1968

Welllll...I guess you might. On the other hand, you might also end up hospitalized with e-coli. So perhaps you should steer clear of this one! LOL

"Hand kissing is no longer limited to gentlemen. A woman should freely practice kissing men's hands. THe back of the hand is acceptable." - Cosmo's how to do it greeting guide." November 1968

Men kiss women's hands still? Damn, that's hot!!! Seriously it makes me all giggly and toasty just thinking about someone kissing the back of my hand. Oh wait? 1968... Nevermind! Seriously though, I didn't realize this was a worst advice ever article when I read this one first, and I was like....waaaaaa?????? I just can't imagine a woman kissing a man's hand in greeting... This is so silly!

"Write his than you notes...Do needle point while he watches...Take his pulse (even if you don't know how)...Pumice his calluses...Frolic in his chest hairs." "Things to do with your hands that men like," February 1970

Pumic his calluses????? Ewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"To make love grow...plant an onion in a previously unused pot, and encourage the onion to grow with all the care with which you would nuture a rose." - "Try Witchcraft" - May 1973

Dude! Did Cosmo seriously have an article about using witchcraft to get your man??? That's kinda cool and world altering! Oh wait...it was the 70s, maybe it was more that there were mind altering things involved...

"[If] you don't have another [man] on the scene at the moment, I suggest you invent one...Send yourself flowers, have your girlfriends call you when he's there, and take the call in the other room." - "Never be faithful to a married man." - August 1973

Or let's see...another option would be STOP HAVING SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN'S HUSBANDS!!!!

Comments

Jenn said…
We were reading Glamour at work this week. There was a section on how to get out of the missionary position.... complete with pictures of four suggested positions and how to get into them, LOL. It was hilarious! And very tempting to try, LOL!
MsSnarkyPants said…
How to get to other positions from the missionary position or just other positions to try. Cause if you're 30 and still don't have an illustrated guide to the Kama Sutra, we're really going to have to remedy that soon! ;)
Jenn said…
Just other positions to try... apparently in this Hispanic culture, women aren't really fond of sex, and don't get much more creative than missionary. I learn all sorts of interesting things at work, LOL.
MsSnarkyPants said…
I've read a lot of magazines that wou'd make you think that women in the American culture don't much like sex either. You know...not cosmo...but others LMAO If you went by Cosmo we're all a bunch of sex fiends!

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