Thursday Thirteen #39

This one requires a little set up…

My husband was supposed to bring Nicky to the bathroom to have a bath after me last Saturday morning, and he said he was just going to give him a quick haircut. I said, "Fine, just make sure if you can't get anything else done to trim his bangs." (Nicky HATES having his hair cut.) Because he couldn't see his hair was so long in front. Perhaps I should have been more specific. Perhaps I should have said, "Don't shave my child's head." I did not, however, so when I finally gave up on him finally bringing Nicky, this is what I found…

Not so bad you might say? At least he still has hair? Fine, you can say that, but this is how long his hair was before the haircut…

I like his hair that way!!! I just wanted it trimmed a bit and his bangs short enough that they weren't in his eyes.

So anyway…Bryon just didn't understand why I burst into tears. Before I started crying he looked very proud of himself. Later he claimed that he hadn't actually intended to cut it that short… Um…okay, to prevent another fight over this I will buy that…sort of.

So here is my list, inspired by last weekend's events…

Thirteen Things Not to Do When Your Wife is Pregnant

1. Not be anything except entirely loving and supportive. :-D
   
2. Expect her not to have mood swings.
   Seriously! Don't be surprised when your wife goes from a sweet, adoring woman to ready to hang you from the nearest rafter. It's part of the package.
   
3. Suggest that you might possibly be more tired than she is.
   Trust me. However long your day was, hers was just as long AND she was growing a baby the entire time.
   
4. Not go to the store and get her what she has a craving for.
   If you don't go, she's just going to make you feel bad about it later trust me! We pregnant women are excellent guilt trippers.
   
5. Suggest that she suck it up.
   I have a friend who actually said of his nine month pregnant wife, "I know she is uncomfortable, but I can't take the mood swings anymore. She just needs to suck it up!" I asked him if he had said that to her… He had not. That's why he's still married. ;-) My response? "I highly recommend that you never say that to her. Nor that you ever say that again in the presence of a woman who has EVER been pregnant."
   
6. Tell her she looks anything but adorable pregnant.
   
7. Look at her swollen feet and utter, "Oh, my god!"
   Yeah, my husband did something to that effect last time. I mean I had pre-eclampsia which is even worse than the normal ankle swelling of pregnancy so I know they were awful. Hell, I didn't even have ankles! But that's just not something you want to hear.
   
8. Decline giving her a backrub.
   Come on, man! She's bearing your child! Rub her back! And when she's in labor rub exactly where she says to rub right when she says it with no delay or dirty looks. It doesn't matter how important the conversation you're having with her mother is! And this time there ain't gonna be any football on in the delivery room! No soccer either!!! She might even watch Lifetime!
   
9. Decline to paint her toenails!
   Awww, but she can't reach her own toes! That's just mean! It won't magically make you a woman to paint her toenails, I promise!
   
10. Make fun of any of the side effects of being pregnant.
    Any of them! No matter how funny you make thing they are!
    
11. Not let her take a nap if she needs one.
    Growing babies is hard work!
    
12. Not help her with any household chores she can't handle.
    My husband is so good about this. He pulled up the carpet in the little bedroom this weekend, and he is going to patch the carpet tack holes in the concrete tonight so I can lay the new floor. :-D He'd lay the new floor too if I'd let him but it's vinyl plank and soooo easy, but it does require some pretty obsessive compulsive lining up and while he is capable it'd just be good for me to do it myself. ;-)
    
13. Give your son a buzz cut…