Are Templar swords really meant for slaying serpents? Methinks not!

We got to chatting about fears in one of the yahoo groups I frequent the other day. That led to a discussion about snakes, which reminded me of an incident which occurred about three years ago...

One day when we lived in a little apartment in town, my cat started acting more peculiar than usual. Which if you knew my little Aine, you would know is saying quite a lot! She kept walking into the living room looking at us then going back into the bathroom. My husband got up to check it out, and he came out of the bathroom with this horrible look on his face. I'm like...WTH? So he walked over to where he had his Templar sword leaning up against the wall behind the door. (Have I mentioned we're super mega geeks? Yeah... we are.) And looked back at me, sword in hand, and my big, brave warrior said, "There is a snake in the bathroom!"

I, naturally, assumed he was screwing around with me, because he is well known for that. I can only believe approximately ten percent of what he says because generally he is teasing. The only problem with that is that I'm incredibly gullible and sometimes he forgets to tell me he was lying... That makes for Lesley saying some lame stuff let me tell you. Or at least it did until I realized I have to google any story he tells me to check its accuracy.

Him: "Really."

Me: "So WTH do you think you're gonna to do with that sword? Hack a snake to pieces in my bathroom? Is it even poisonous?"

I'm sure he was thinking at this point. Is my wife completely insane? We have a snake in our bathroom, and she is fighting for its life?

So I went into the bathroom to take a peek at the snake... At this point he was disappearing behind the washing machine, but I got a pretty good look at him. He was about six feet long and maybe an inch and a half thick, black with yellowish white spots. So I made my hubby move the washing machine back so I could peek in at him.

I had no idea what kind of snake he was at this point, but I could tell he wasn't poisonous by the shape of his head and his eyes. See I was paying attention in my Science classes all those years. :-D So then I sent my husband to get the landlord, and I stood there with my sword and my laptop making sure he didn't make a break for it and get lost somewhere in the house.

Why the laptop you ask?

Good question. Well, I had to make sure I was right about him not being poisonous so I googled him while keeping guard with the sword. This is, in fact, a rather difficult task. I am not used to wielding a large Templar sword complete with extremely heavy brass hilt! My arm got pretty tired while I one-hand typed "Arkansas black spotted snake" into my google toolbar. It turned out he was a spotted king snake. Completely harmless and known for killing bad snakes like rattlers.

Just about this time, my hubby, the landlord, his wife, his daughter and her boyfriend showed up. Their tools of snake combat? One of those long things with the trigger that you use to grab things that are far away and a big, plastic container that you use for storage. The landlord then proceeded to prove that he was a big ole chicken. He didn't even want to come in the apartment. His daughter and my husband managed to grab the snake with the pincher thing and wrestle him into the plastic container.

Of course you're asking what I was doing all this time. Why wasn't I battling the fearsome snake> I had to hold the dog that wanted to eat it! See and you thought I was just being cowardly.

The day ended well. The poor, little terrified snake was born freed in the woods near our apartment instead of being splattered around my bathroom. I can't tell you how little I wanted to clean that up!

My kitty cat has since been dubbed Aine the Brave, Snake Hunter Extraordinare.

We moved out of that apartment about a month after that...

Comments

Julia Smith said…
I'm glad the snake was born freed, too. And who doesn't want a sword? I know I do! Don't have one yet.

My aunt who lived in Virginia once opened a pot from the cupboard and found a snake in it. The snake became target practice for my uncle's rifle, not for fun, but because he was so freaked out he couldn't get a decent shot.
Me said…
Actually we have *counts* 6 but only if you're counting the two bamboo practice swords. Hmm that seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? hehehe

If there was a snake in my pot I think I'd be so surprised I'd just die right on the spot!!!

Eeek, at least she didn't put it on the stove and turn it on before looking inside!!! Ewww!

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